What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

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¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Holocaust survivor who was burned in Boulder: 'We are better than this' - NBC News

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

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Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

TEXT:

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

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I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

NASA withdraws support for conferences - SpaceNews

Make Nazis afraid again!

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What are the ten cars that make me no longer feel inferior?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

David Jolly, a Trump critic and former GOP congressman, to run for Florida governor as a Democrat - AP News

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Planet Nine? Not quite, but some astronomers think they've spotted a new dwarf planet - NBC News

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Trump is shot, tackled by SS agents, yet then stands, defiant, with fist high, and 52 hours later, walks into the Republican Convention to thunderous applause. Is there anything that can stop this man, who loves his country? Does he get your vote?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.